Home At Last...

(Top to Bottom: Yu Ran leaving the hosptial holding both Chase & Charissa;  Our wonderful neonatologist with the twins; Chase & Charissa hanging out at home; Charissa hanging out; Chase being Chase

September 5, 11:30 AM

Charissa arrived at home on Wednesday, September 3.  Mom & Dad have had two sleepless nights, feeding, changing, feeding, changing... ...well you know how it goes.  But we are ecstatic!

Charissa came home with her reflux and we've been adjusting to her "gastrol eruptions" every now and then...  ...but besides that she is doing well.

Thank You for all your continued prayers for our family.  I will continue to update this blog up until their 1st birthday!  

Blessings!

Choi Family 

One Down, One To Go....

(Top: Chase enjoying time with Daddy. Next: Charissa with Mommy after a nice bath. Remaining: All Dressed Up and Nowhere to Go. Celebrating their 100th Day Birthday on August 3)

August 25, 10:15 PM

Wow, time flies... ...and I have been remiss in keeping up with the blog. As our children get better, our time becomes more scarce. A blessing in disguise, but now we want to share with you what is due for your diligence in prayer for our children... ...as you have shared with us in our suffering, we gladly share with you the joy of Chase & Charissa (Thanks especially to Tobias & Elizabeth, Hui Jung, & Sun (congrats on Michigan!), Scott, and many, many of you for your calls, cards, letter and e-mails!)

On August 11, Chase was discharged from the hospital!
We took him home filled with joy and sadness. Having our boy home gave us a sense of relief that one COULD leave the hospital! But leaving Charissa behind all by herself was quite difficult for us. A sense of guilt would often overcome us as we would shower Chase with our love & time, knowing that Charissa remained alone.

Our schedule has been hectic ever since. As I would work in the mornings, my wife would watch Chase. Then I would hurry home in the afternoon to watch him while my wife would drive off to the hospital to be with our daughter. She would then return in the early evening and I would either go off to work again, or we would catch up on chores, bills, & other responsibilities from having a preemie.

So how is Chase?
Well, he came home on some medications. His acid reflux continues to hinder him from sleeping through the night. For a period of 6-8 hours Chase would gag & cry as the acid burned his esophagus. My wife and I are helpless when this happens. We try our best to comfort him, but no remedy really exists. The mantra of our doctors echoes in our head, "He'll grow out of it, he'll grow out of it." As we wait for his GI tract to mature, we simply do our best and pray for him. The doctors prescribed prevacid to reduce the acid and we think that it does help. But at the moment, we rejoice when he has his good moments...

When he's not gagging & crying, Chase is a fun baby to be around. He can raise his head by himself and enjoys just being a baby. He's eating extremely well, a little over 2 oz of mom's milk mixed with Neosure, and has raised his weight to a stunning 9 lbs.

Chase is also taking synthroid to help his hypothyroidism. The doctors aren't sure if he'll grow out of this or not... ...we pray that he does.

His eyes are doing extremely well. We took him to the pediatric ophthalmologist and the ROP (Retinopathy of Prematurity) has regressed in both eyes... Now we await for his development. Preemies are at high risk for near-sightedness and strabismus.

Now that Chase has left the hospital we have many, many doctors appointments for the first month. 1. Pediatrician: once/week. 2. Pedatric Ophthamologist: twice/month 3. Pediatric Endocrintologist: twice/month 4. Pediatric Urologist: once. That's right. From August 11 - September 11, we will have to go to the doctors at least 9 TIMES! And this is if everything goes well!

So how is Charissa? She still resides at Northside Hospital with severe acid reflux. She's maxed out on her meds (prevacid & reglan) and again the doctors tell us, "she'll grow out of it." The meds don't really cure her, but simply reduces the acid, until her GI Tract matures. What's her goal? Well, she needs to be able to take 8 bottles in a 24 hour period to come home. At this juncture she's taken 5 bottles and we're hopeful that she will be able to come home within 10 -14 days!

The result of her eye operation is promising. The pediatric ophthamologist gave a thumbs up on the results. She will need a follow up in 3 months!

As any parent out there understands, my wife and I spend our days, smelling our babies diapers, praying for a big fat stool (both Chase & Charissa get constipated, which doesn't help the reflux), rejoicing when they are able to finish their bottle, and feeling relieved when they sleep well. As I've heard said, "if you eat, sleep, and poop well, then the Lord has truly blessed you." : )

Our Prayer Requests...
Chase: 1. Constipation/Reflux. 2. Thyroid Condition 3. Eyes
Charissa: 1. Constipation/Reflux 2. Eyes 3. Get Out of the Hosptial fast!!

Our thankfulness to God is truly unending. My wife and I are still being stretched in our faith as we learn to love and take care of these two new additions to our family. We've been humbled and honored to witness God's grace extend from our family to all of you who read this blog. Soli Deo Gloria!

All of us must remember, our suffering & our joy will NEVER EVER compare to the suffering & joy that our Father endured through his Son. We are forever thankful that no matter what the Lord may place in our hands, true meaning resides in the resurrection of our Savior. Let us never pity ourselves or pity others. Let us never compare our lot in life with that of others. Let us only encourage each other to walk faithfully with what the Lord has given...

In Christ's Love,
Choi Family

A Few Pics..

July 18, 11:30PM

A few pics from yesterday and today on the 7th floor... ...they've come so far...

Only one tube going in there little faces now. They are completely off the nasal cannula. They can breathe on their own! Now it's time to learn to eat!

Joyfully,
Choi Family

Moving On Up...

July 15, 10:40PM

Yesterday, Chase & Charissa turned 11 weeks and 3 days. More significantly, they reached the 36 week gestation mark. My wife and I remain exhausted, elated, and often times perplexed by the mysterious sovereignty of our God. But we press on, in faith, and await the future hope promised to his people...

Charissa's operation went very well, but her recovery took longer than expected. Being under general anesthetic, her lungs were literally 'immobilized' for about an hour. The doctors believed that she would be able to recover in about 1/2 day from the surgery. However, Charissa took about 4 days to regain her respiration. During this period of time, my wife and I worried quite a bit. Her inability to breathe always conjures up the fear of infection. She underwent many tests and antibiotics were actually started for preventive measures. And even with much prayer, our anxieties pressed heavy upon our hearts. But she made it through! She is breathing quite well (2 liters on high-flow cannula). The retinal ophthalmologist came today to check on her eyes. Although there is still a bit of swelling, he's quite optimistic that the retinas will not detach, i.e. no blindness. But we must wait until she is 3 months old to be 100% sure.

Chase is doing quite well. He actually LOOKS like a real baby, with real baby fat, and real baby-like features. He has started to take the bottle and is drinking mom's milk (fortified with vitamins/minerals) really, really well.

Both of them are maximum feeds, but they have quite a bit of problem with acid reflux. This causes them to choke on their reflux and stop breathing. Although they will eventually grow out of it, this does hinder their ability to feed, breathe, sleep and hence grow.


BIG NEWS. We are moving on up to the 7th floor! Affectionately referred to as the "Penthouse." Although this is still the NICU, babies, who are less seriously ill reside here. For the past 11 weeks, the 7th floor was just a whisper of a rumor, some remote place where our kids longed to see. Today they reached their destination. And to boot, Chase & Charissa were placed in the SAME CRIB, side by side. The crib is super-sized and easily accomadats both of them. This was a bittersweet moment for my wife and I. We were ecstatic, knowing that they were going to the 7th floor and bedding together. But we were also sad, knowing that Chelsea was not joining us. God's mysterious sovereignty is often difficult to comprehend.

More Tests...
Head Sonogram (36 weeks gestation): Chase & Charissa are both within normal limits! NO MORE head sonograms!!!
Eye Exams (Retinopathy of Prematurity): Chase is listed at Stage 1. Doctors are quite confident that the ROP will resolve itself. Charissa's recover is positive, but much prayer is still needed.
Thyroid. Chase has a mild form of hypothyroidism. If the thyroid does not work properly, than Chase will have to be on some sort of medicine for the remainder of his life. Tests pending for next weeks.

Prayer Requests.
Chase. 1. Pray for his thyroid. 2. Pray for his acid reflux
Charissa. 1. Pray for her eyes. 2. Pray for her acid reflux

Thank you all once again for your prayers and concerns. We greatly appreciate all your inquiries, prayers, voice mails, & notes...

In His Grace,
Choi Family

8AM Operation for Charissa

July 2, 7:00 PM

On our way to the hospital we received a call from Dr. Kaufmann, the retinal ophthamologist. Charissa's Retinopathy had developed from stage 1 to stage 3 in a span for 4 days. He told us that they would have to perform laser surgery tomorrow morning at 8 PM.

Quite shocked by the suddeness, we arrived at the hospital praying that the Lord would have mercy on her vision. With the surgery, Charissa will sacrifice her peripheral vision with the hopes of retaining her central vision. Dr. Kaufmann tells us that the success rate is high, but that there are risks in any surgery...

Please pray for Charissa's surgery...

In His Grace,
Choi Family

Eyes To See...

June 29, 9:55 PM

Chase & Charissa have been progressively improving. Each are learning how to simultaneously eat while remember to breathe. Not as easy as we thought it would be, but they're learning!!

On Saturday, Chase & Charissa had their eye exams, looking for a disease called "Retinopathy of Immaturity" (Wikipedia.com has an adequate explanation). We knew that both of them would likely incur this disease, the question was simply its severity. Retinopathy can potentially lead to blindness...

Chase has Stage 1 Retinopathy. He will be monitored weekly to see if the condition will worsen. Most preemies will gravitate towards stage 2, but with maturity the disease will fade. Please pray that this would be so with Chase!

Charissa has Stage 1 Retinopathy with "Plus Disease." The Plus disease makes it more likely that she will need laser surgery to help correct her problem. The retinal ophlamalogist specialist will come in on Wednesday to take a look. We hope that Plus is not too severe and that it would either resolve on it's own or would be correctable with surgery. But please pray that Charissa would not need surgery and that her sight would develop normally.

We are truly thankful to our God!! Our children are starting to grow. Both are over 4 lbs!!

May the Eyes of all oure hearts be enlightened!
Choi Family

big scare... ...bigger relief... ...TBTG!

June 22, 8PM

The last 3-4 days have been quite a roller coaster ride. Both Chase & Charissa got sick around the same time...

Chase was having a really difficult time breathing about 4 days ago. After running some tests, he had tested positive for an infection. They immediately placed him on 3 antibiotics, stopped his feeding, placed IVs for nutrition, and began to withdraw blood for testing on a regular basis. We did not know what to think... We just prayed. The next day, seeing the familiar yet frightening tubes entering and exiting his body, we sighed a bit of a relief. Not that the infection had gone, but that Chase was no longer gasping for air. He was breathing well. The question for Dr. Maynar was, "what kind of infection did he have?" At first she suspected that the blood test was a false positive, meaning that Chase did not have an infection at all. She hypothesized that a contaminant of some kind had entered into his system. But being cautious, she continued our son on all 3 antibiotics. So what kind of infection had crept into our frail little boy? The number one suspect was a gastrointestianl disease called "Necrotizing Enterocolitis" (NEC). After Sepsis (infection in the bloodstream), NEC is the most frightening diagnosis. NEC occurs only in premature babies. Their unformed bowels often can not handle the bacteria that is growing. Sometimes this bacteria creates an infection which attacks the walls of the intestines. If not caught early, NEC can kill parts of the intestines. The only treatment would be surgery to remove the "necrotized" i.e. dead sections. While not fatal, the operation is high risk. But the truly frightening aspect of NEC occurs if the infection punctures the bowel walls and enters into other parts of the body. The infection could instantly take overtake the premature baby and prove to be fatal. No one knows why this happens, but NEC can come out of nowhere and quickly destroy the intestines and enter into the bloodstream. Dr. Maynar told us that NEC is the most feared disease in the NICU. So did Chase have NEC? He had some of the symptoms, "difficulty breathing & a hard distended stomach." How do we know if he has NEC? X-rays. As we waited for the results of the x-rays, we were nervous. We understood the consequences if we did not catch this disease early enough. By God's grace, the X-rays were negative. After running more tests and growing more cultures, Dr. Maynar concluded that it was either a weak infection that the antibiotics had already killed or a contaminant. Yesterday, Chase was put on 5.5 cc/hour of mother's milk and only one of his antibiotics remained. Today, Chase was sleeping soundly, without any appearance of stress and pain. Eating the full feed of 9.5cc/hour, he had the look of a healthy content baby. Praise God....


Charissa, on the other hand, was not so fortunate. She had cried in her mother's arms for about an hour. And in total she had cried for about 3-4 without the nurses doing much to alleviate her distress. Charissa was in real pain and it was difficult for us to watch. She had thrown up her feedings and her belly was getting hard & distended. After an X-ray, the diagnosis was confirmed on the following day... NEC. NEC was causing real pain to our daughter's bowels. She was immediately taken off her feeds, given an arterial line, IV lines, and placed on the ventilator. We had gone back in time 2 1/2 weeks. But we were glad to see her on the ventilator. For about 19 hours, she wasn't able to rest. Being in so much pain, she would just cry, which meant, she couldn't breathe. She had a choice, cry or breathe. This exhausted her. The ventilator gave her a chance to just sleep and rest. The machine would expand her lungs. All she needed to do was sleep.

But we praise God for Charissa's sensitive bowels!! : ) Dr. Maynar reassured us that they had caught NEC very, very early. They put her on 3 antibiotics and x-rayed her every 12 hours. For the past 2 1/2 days, we would eagerly called 1/2 hour after each x-ray hoping that the NEC had subsided. We were frightened that the NEC would actually get worse, a distinct possibility in a preemie. But by God's wonderful grace, the NEC was disappearing. All her lab work was also indicating that the infection was dying. NEC isn't all gone yet, but Dr. Maynar thinks that in a couple of more days the infection should be eradicated.

Those first 2 days Charissa was like a rag doll. She wouldn't move or open her eyes. She had no strength in her bones. I would move her arms and legs, but she would offer no resistance. Yesterday & today, she looked much better! Her stomach has reduced, she freely opens her eyes, and most importantly, strength has returned to her frail body. Another bit of good news, she has left the ventilator and is now back on the high-flow nasal cannula. She will be on the antibiotics for another 5 days. This will give her bowels a chance to heal and rest. Then, it's back to feeding!

Both Chase & Charissa are now breathing well. No bradycardias and very few desaturations. We're both waiting for the NEC to be completely wiped away from Charissa's body, and we are thankful that God has brought us through another trying moment... ....They are now 33 weeks gestation. Although NEC can reoccur, Dr. Maynar tells us that after 34 weeks gestation, NEC becomes very rare.

Whoa! We thank God for his mercies once again!

TGBG (To God Be The Glory)!
Choi Family

Infection...

June 17, 11PM

After a couple of weeks of no events, today was a really difficult day. Both Chase & Charissa have had multiple events throughout the day. When we arrived at 12Pm, both of them were having multiple desaturations and bradycardias (sudden drop of heart rate). The doctors are not sure why they are having such a difficult time and suspect some sort of infection... We sat with our kids for about 6-7 hours, jumping from child to another, hoping they would remember to breathe...

Chase started on antibiotics today. He looks okay, but his breathing is still too shallow. He's not doing all that well (and still needs prayer), but sister is doing worse...

Charissa does not look good at all. She actually looks really sick. During our stay, her heart rate climbed to about 205bpm (normal heartrate is 165bmp) for about 3 hours & she cried non-stop. Yu Ran held her to try to assuage her, and for a little while she stopped crying. But her color got worse and her stomach began to distend and harden as well. They X-rayed her and decided to give her a break from the feeding tube. This helped a bit, but as she lied in her bed, she looked pale and lethargic. I would lift her arm and she would offer no resisitance. It would simply go limp.

I just called the nurse about 5 minutes ago. The doctors, as a precaution, have placed her on 3 different antibiotics. She is still having multiple desaturations and bradycardias. My wife and I are extremely worried. Charissa is really, really sick again. Please pray...

Exhausted again...
Choi Family

Part Deux

(Mom holding Charissa & Dad holding Chase on Saturday, June 7: 30 weeks 6 days gestation)






June 14, 10PM

Sorry about the 10 day delay since the last post. Over the past week and a half I have been busy helping to organize & run our presbytery's youth conference. Sleeping only 3-4 hours/day during this period left me no time to blog...

Update...

Chase took a step back on his respiration. After being on the high-flow nasal cannula for 2-3 days, the doctors placed him back on the Bubble CPAP. My wife watched with her parents as he would de-saturate (sudden drop in oxygen saturation level) & have sudden drops in his heart rate (from 180 down to 70 in a matter of seconds). But just today, the doctors said that he has stabilized. They will try him again on the high-flow nasal cannula.

Chase will be completely drug free by 4 am this morning! After his final dose of hydrocortisone, the strongest meds he will be on will be caffeine! Chase's latest head ultrasound showed that that the clot had almost completely drained. The doctor said that no more ultrasounds will be needed! Also, after testing his thyroid, the doctors declared that his thyroid levels are normal.

Weight you ask? 3 lbs. 11.26 oz (1.68Kg). He's growing well and actually has some body fat on him. He's so warm, in fact, that they don't even use the heater in his isolette. Feedings? Up to 9cc/hour

Charissa has had a hard 10 days. With lots of desaturations and bradycardias (sudden drop of heartrate), my wife and I had been very concerned. But again, just like with Chase, the doctors keep telling us not to worry. They keep saying that they are having an acceptable amount of bradycardias for their age and that they are actually doing well. Intellectually we know this is true, but emotionally it's difficult watching your kids stop breathing. She's doing well on the high flow nasal cannula. They lowered the pressure from 5 litres to 4 litres. Next step? Well, a simply nasal cannual without any pressure... How long? That's up to her!

Weight? 3lbs. .67 oz. (1.38 Kg). Feedings? 7cc/hour.

Part Deux
So what's part deux? Well... they just have to keep growing. The doctors say that they're respiratory issues will most likely resolve themselves, so not to worry.
They still have two other major exams: 1. Eye Exams (every 2 weeks) 2. Ear Exams.

Tomorrow will be their first eye exam! Preemies are susceptible to a type of retinal damage associated with premature birth. Doctors will examine her every 2 weeks until 40 weeks gestation when they will no longer be at risk. Ear exam? We don't know when they will have their first examination, so we wait...

God has been tremendously merciful to our family.... Please continue to pray for our two kids, especially for their first eye exam!

Blessings,
Choi Family

Can anyone say 3 pounds?

June 3, 1:15 PM

Update...

Chase is 2 lbs 15 oz (1.33 kg)! Not much news on him today. He's still on the bubble CPAP but should be graduating to the next step in a couple of days...

Weighing in at a respectable preemie weight of 2 lbs 7 oz (1.13 kg) is our little Charissa. Although smaller than her brother, she has surpassed him in the all important category of breathing. Yesterday they took her off the bubble CPAP and placed her on the 'high flow nasal canula'. (I have given up at trying to fully understand all the medical terms. So I won't try to explain this to you either : ) Everytime I think I understand, I find out that my understanding isn't quite right). Needless to say, this is good news. After this step is the regular 'nasal canula,' and then it's on to unassisted breathing!

Life has truly slowed down for the both of us. We're able to come to the hospital and enjoy God's generous gifts. Both doctors & nurses have few words to say now... ...as we like to say, 'no news is good news.'

Please continue to pray for their development. May the Lord of Salvation open our eyes to His incomparable grace.

Resting,
Choi Family

Time To Grow

May 30, 5:30 PM

I'm sitting here at Chase's bedside typing away on my blackberry! Yesterday & today we received a flurry of good news. You know things are going well when your conversation with the doctor lasts less than 1 minute!

Update...

Chase continues to learn the art of breathing. He still goes up & down on his oxygen level and every once in a while, his heart rate will drop dramatically. BUT the doctor reassures us not to worry. So we just pray. His head ultrasound continues to look good. Looks like we just need time for the clot to drain. His appetite? Up to 7 cc/hr! We are extremely grateful. The only bit of concern is his thyroid. His hormonal level is on the low end of normal, so their giving him some meds to help him. Doctors say he should grow out of it.

Charissa is doing fantastic. As of last night at 8pm all of her lines have been removed. No more arterial line and no more IV lines for her other fluids. Her anti-fungal treatment is complete and all her tests this morning came out normal. No more tests until Sunday! This is the first time any of our kids went a day without testing! Her feeding is also up to 5.5cc/hr. The past 2 days my wife has also been able to hold Charissa!! What a blessing!

What's next? Growth & development. We don't know what to expect during the next 7 weeks or so (and neither do we want to, for each day has enough trouble of its own) but we thank God for your partnership with us.

Already you have become the proverbial village helping to raise out kids.

Shalom,
Choi Family

Almost there.... ...sort of

May 28, 11PM

Update...

Chase continues to struggle a bit with the bubble CPAP. His oxygen saturation level is still all over the place, but his heart rate no longer drops suddenly. This is very good. Watching his oxygen rate yo-yo is one thing, but seeing his heart rate fall from 180 to 70 in a space of 45 seconds causes undue stress on our own hearts. Because of his struggles, he hasn't gained much weight as he is busy burning calories wrestling with the CPAP. But overall the doctor is very pleased with Chase. Again, he tells us not to worry about the CPAP. All of this is normal and will pass as he gets older. Our prayer? Get older Chase, get older!! Eating? Up to 6.5 cc/hour; still at max according to his weight.

Charissa may be heading to a milestone very soon! Tonight the doctor is taking out her arterial line. This means that her bloodpressure is stabilizing and they no longer have to monitor her bloodpressure directly! They'll just use a miniaturized cuff (really cute). By Friday, they think they will be able to take out the remainder of her IVs for various fluids. So what am I saying? By Friday, Charissa could have NO IVS in her fragile little body. What does that mean? Her risk for any bloodstream infections goes down dramatically!! Her cortisone (or cortisol) level is still 3 times the normal. The doctor will reduce this 15% every 3 days... ...so in about 2 weeks she'll be off of it completely.... Longterm affects should be minimal. As for her breathing, she's been a champ, steady & solid. Weight? She's 1.09 KG (~2 lbs. 6.4 oz.) She's catching up to Chase who is still around the same weight as the last couple of days, 1.12 KG (~2lbs. 7.5 oz). Eating? Up to 4.5 cc/hour. She should be at max feed by the end of this week!

Overall, by the end of their 5 weeks of life, Chase & Charissa should be out of 'super-critical condition.' 1. Off of blood pressure meds. 2. Off the respirator. 3. benign head ultrasounds. They will most likely live in this world with us : ) We are thankful, but we remember they are still in the NICU, i.e. intensive care! They are still in 'critical condition.' Although the risk of a fast moving infection has been reduced, we still have a long road ahead of us. Chase & Charissa will be in the NICU at least through August, and maybe longer. But we thank Lord for his mercy thus far.

The Lord gives & the Lord takes away, but may the name of the Lord be praised!

Loving Our Lives,
Choi Family

Premature Apnea

May 26, 12PM

Went to see the kids early this morning. We witnessed both of them as they began to 'desat,' i.e. stop breathing. It was a nerve racking experience, but again the doctor says its quite normal.

The problem is not with their lungs but with their brains. They are not mature enough to tell the lungs, "hey! Keep breathing!" Doctor says not until their original term date will the brain-respiratory connection be mature.

Update...

Chase continues to increase his feedings, 6.3 cc/hour. He won't need a head ultrasound this week, since the bleeding is resolving itself. We're just waiting for him to get bigger & stronger...

Charissa is growing! She's 2 lbs. 7 oz. Her feeding will be increased to 4 cc/hour. If all goes well she'll reach her maximum feed in 2-3 days. Then they'll be able to take out her IV lines. Her cortisone is being slowly weaned. We are praying for 1. No infection. 2. All her IV lines will be gone by the end of the week!

Hope you are all having a blessed Memorial Day.

Waiting On The Lord,
Choi Family

Breathing & Eating...

May 25, 8:30PM

We went to the NICU to spend some time with Chase & Charissa. As we gazed upon their little bodies, we took time to have family worship with each one of them. How good it truly is to worship our Lord with our family! We sang some hymns, Yu Ran prayed, and I read from Psalm 103 and taught my kids a short lesson in trusting in God... Short but truly a blessing.

Update...

Chase continues to eat like monster! They raised his maximum dosage to 6.3 cc/hour on a continuous feed. As his weight increases so will the dosage. Of course they add the necessary nutrients, proteins, etc... for a premie. Now his breathing is another story.

Being on the bubble CPAP means two things. 1. They maintain a certain pressure in his lungs to help his lungs expand to a certain capacity. This is measured on a scale of 1 - 10 PEEPS (a fancy acronym), with 1 being the least amount of help, and 10 being the most. 2. Oxygen level: 21% being room air. 22 - 40% acceptable help. Over 40%, they're stressed. Chase was on 6 PEEPS and 30% oxygen when he began the CPAP on Saturday morning! A wonderful suprise! But over the next 24 hours he began to stop breathing and his oxygen saturation rate (how much oxygen his lungs contains: 85% - 95% is normal) would drop to 70%. So they would have to 'help' him to start breathing again...

But the doctor told us this was normal. Over the course of the next 48 hours (36 hours so far at the time of this writing), his lungs have to get used to breathing on their own... She told us that Chase will learn and not be worried. So we're not! She raised his PEEP level to 8 and his oxygen level to around 32%. I guess Charissa is an overachiever. Once she came off the ventilator she's had no problems. Steady at 6PEEPS and 24% oxygen level!

The great news is that the bubble CPAP will not damage the lungs at all. The doctor said they won't be in a rush to take them off the bubble CPAP. They will simply take their time until the kids are ready. The only inconvenience is not being able to see the kids' faces. The CPAP completely covers their cute little mugs... ...oh well...

Charissa's mysterious infection still alludes the doctors. They called in an Infectious Disease Specialist from the children's hospital to try to identify it, but to no avail. BUT the Specialist Doctor said that Charissa is getting better! They will continue the full treament of the anti-fungal, as a precaution. She is now on continuous feeds as well. She is up from 2cc/hour to 3cc/hour! She is also a whopping 1.01KG (2 lbs. 3.7oz) from her birth weight of 1lb 8 oz. Her cortisone level is still high (1.0 being the physiological norm [how much a normal baby makes]) at 3.0 (down from 4.0). They are weaning her down slowly... Our big prayer is to see all those IVs come out of her by the end of this week. We don't want any more risk of a bloodstream infection & for her bloodpressure to maintain as the cortisone is weaned down...

Our kids are now 29 weeks gestation, still 11 weeks from a full-term baby! I'm so amazed at the skill & wisdom of our doctors & nurses. We are truly blessed to have such a wonderful NICU here in Atlanta.

My wife and I thank God every night for our fragile little ones. He truly has "fearfully & wonderfully" made them.

Resting On The Sabbath,
Choi Family

Charissa has a great week...

May 23 1:00 PM

Sorry about the long silence... ...I was in Florida for 2 days for our presbytery's college retreat (truly thankful for wonderful colleagues & wonderful students!). Unfortunately, I caught the 24 hour bug and was basically bedridden until this morning... Whew...

Update...

Chase continues to grow. He is currently 2 lbs and 7.5 oz! They have increased his caloric intake and added all the necessary nutrients to mother's milk. They have increased his total intake from 5.5 cc/hr to 6.0 cc/hr (still continuous feed). The head ultrasound continues to look good. The bleeding has stopped and the clot continues to organize. It'll take about 1-2 weeks for the blood to be flushed by his system. He's had a couple of blood transfusions for a low red blood cell count, but nothing dire. He continues on the respirator and the doctor hopes to pull him off of it tomorrow... Breathe Chase, breathe!!

Charissa astounds us. The doctor upped her cortisone levels to help with the low blood pressure. On Monday evening, she was totally off the meds and by Tuesday evening she began to feed, 2cc every 4 hours. She is eating well! The antibiotics have now been discontinued. The doctors are pretty sure that there's no infection. However, they have put her on an anti-fungal medicine just in case. They think a yeast infection might have caused all this blood pressure drama. However, the test for a yeast infection takes 5 days to confirm.

The great news is that Charissa is off the respirator! Wow! She is off the respirator and on the bubble CPAP. This means that her lungs are able to expand on their own. The bubble CPAP just provides the required amount of oxygen. And there's better news. She only requires about 28% oxygen. We breathe 21% oxygen, so the doctors say that it is feasible that she could be off the bubble CPAP in less than a week! She still looks really puffy to us though! After numerous white blood cell transfusions, antibiotics, antifungal, blood pressure meds, her body and head has swelled. We're just waiting for her body to get rid of all the extra liquids. Good news, she's peeing really well!

Oh yeah, because she's off the respirator (i.e. no tube stuck down her throat), my wife was able to hear Charissa cry for the very first time (my wife refused to let me near since I was coming down with a cold). The expression of joy on my wife's face was priceless to me...

The doctors are now going to take her off the cortisone slowly. They think she'll be okay, but there is a small chance that she could have bloodpressure issues again as they wean her off...

Please Pray
1. God continues to engage all our hearts with an acute understanding of the fragility of all our lives!
2. Chase will be able to get off the respirator tomorrow!
3. Chelsea would have no blood pressure issues as they wean her off the cortisone.

God has been extremely gracious by giving us a good 4th week in the lives of our children. They are now 1 month old, but still only 28 weeks 4 days gestation...

Hanging by His Providential thread,
Choi Family

Eating & 'Stooling...'

May 18, 8:40 PM

Update...

Chase is doing quite well. He's gained weight! Up to a hefty 2 lb 2 oz! That's 7 oz since his birth. He continues to eat and poop really well. The doctors & nurses are quite pleased with him. They are simply waiting for him to get bigger and stronger. We would still like to get him off the respirator, but we'll have to wait until he's ready.

Charissa seems to have an infection, but she's responding nicely to the antibiotics. She's a bit swollen because of the fluids & we were a bit concerned, but the doctors said not to worry. She's down to about 2 - 8 mcg of dopamine. We're praying that she'll be weaned off the meds by tomorrow morning.... ...The doctors are optimistic that she'll be able to eat by Monday or Tuesday...

May the giver of every good and perfect gift remind us of the goodness of his resurrected Son.

peace,
Choi Family

Prayer is All We Have...

May 17, 10 PM

Charissa is being treated for a possible infection. We are frightened. The same diagnosis was given to Chelsea... ...Lord have mercy.

Thank You God that you are the answer to suffering & death. Without the resurrection, faith & hope would be meaningless... ...but you did conquer death, so our faith and hope rest assured.

Silenced,
Young & Yu Ran

3 weeks old (27 weeks 5 days gestation)

May 16, 2PM

Wow, 3 weeks have past & the Lord has continued his blessings upon us. My wife and I visit Chase & Charissa everyday. We take turns at each child's bedside, sing, read scripture, and pray with them. We have each picked a song & scripture passage for each child. I'll get into that later in another entry... ...but let it be known, we have a new appreciation of the fragility of everyone's life. God's providential will is always good...

Updates...

Chase is up to full feedings already! They upped his dosage faster than we expected, but we're not complaining. This means they will take out his IVs today. Chase extubated himself again today, but was unable to breathe on his own. He's back on the ventilator. His head ultrasound looked good. The IVH has started to organize itself and will flush itself out. Dr. Hinkes doesn't see any real danger, but he'll continue to have weekly ultrasounds

Charissa is down to 2mcg of dopamine! We're hoping that she'll start feeding late Saturday night or early Sunday morning. She has to be drug free for at least 24 hours before they begin the feedings. They are a bit worried that she might have an infection. Blood cultures have been taken on a daily basis. So far so good. Her head ultrasound came out negative! They won't do another one until she's 32 weeks gestation. I guess she'll be the bright one! : )

Please pray...
1. Continued assurance of God's presence in your and our lives.
2. Chase's IVH will completely resolve itself in the next weeks.
3. Charissa will begin to feed.
4. Chase & Charissa's respiratory system. The longer they are on the respirator, more the chance of longer term effects. Please pray for healthy lungs.

Praise God for the progress He has allowed in Chase & Chelsea. He has been exceedingly good to us. We do struggle everyday, but the good news of the gospel always encourages us. Please don't hesitate to remind us of God's goodness... ...God knows how often we forget...

Let us not forget the people in China & Myanmar... Jonah 4:10,11

Blessed,
Choi Family

19 days...

May 14, 7:00PM

Chase is doing quite well. He's now eating 8 cc of mom's milk!! Wow! A lot for the little one, but he's digesting it well. Once he gets to 15cc, they will take his IV lines out! We can't wait for that day. He'll still have a feeding tube, but another potential source of infection will be eliminated.

Chase is already revealing his personality. He's actually quite a mild-mannered boy with an inquisitive eye. Even though he technically can only see shadows, he always has his eyes open as if surveying the big world that surrounds his little one. But he does have one weakness. Just like his dad, he hates to be disturbed when he's sleeping, especially on his tummy, by far his favorite position. Whenever the nurses need to draw blood, change his lines, or change his diapers, he always throws a fit. Besides that, he's no trouble....

Charissa is doing better! After the whirlwind of blood transfusions, albumen, and platelets her blood pressure has started to normalize. She's still on 12 mcg of dopamine, but steady. We hope and pray that this will be the end of this horrible drug addiction : )

Charissa is the feisty one! She loves to kick her feet and give the nurses lots of attitude! But recently, she's been a bit more quiet and calm. I don't know if this is a change in her personality or the sedatives that they give her. Either way, she is still an absolute cutie in our books!

Please do pray for the following.

1. Chase would continue to eat well so that his IVs could be removed.
2. Chase's head ultrasound. We pray that the IVH would have resolved itself.
3. Charissa's blood pressure.

All in all, God's given us a relatively good third week. We are forever grateful to our Him.

Blessings..
Choi Family

Eating...

Tuesday, May 13, 9:00 PM

Chase is doing very well for a little preemie. He's up to 5.5 cc of mommy's milk! If all goes well, he'll be up to 7.0 cc by tomorrow afternoon. He's starting to grow noticeably because of the feedings, especially his BIG head. And I mean, big. Babies heads are always bigger than the rest of their bodies, but his is just big. What else can I say... : )

Charissa scared us last night. I had called her bedside to inquire about her status. The nurse said in a worried tone that she had gone down to 70% oxygen saturation twice.... But what I heard was, "70 heart rate." I guess my mind was somewhere else. I kind of panicked. Her "normal" heart rate should be around 170, so 70 is huge!! Unfortunately I gave myself and my wife a heart attack! : ) Anyways, we were worried enough to go down to the hospital at 11PM. Everything was back to normal.

Today, the doctors took a different approach with Charissa. They decided to up her volume to help with her bloodpressure. She's on a regimen of blood transfusions & other blood products (albumen and platelets) until 3 AM. We're hoping to kickstart her system to normal. So far so good, she's off the dobutamine entirely and is simply wobbling up and down the dopamine. But please do pray that she will be completely off the blood pressure meds after she's done her regimen.

Our doctor did give us a bit of hope. She said that Charissa will eventually get her bloodpressure back to normal. It's not a question of if, but a question of when... ...but the quicker the better.

Because Chase & Charissa are both doing quite well as preemies, we've been reminded of the number 1 cause of concern... ...infection. The doctors told us that until they reach 30-32 weeks, infection is the #1 cause of infant mortality in the NICU.

So please pray...

1. Chase. Continue to eat well!
2. Charissa. Finally get off those blood pressure meds.
3. Infection. Lord would protect our two children from this ugly monster...

Praise God from whom all blessings flow!
Young, Yu Ran, Chase, Charissa, & Chelsea

Mother's Day

Monday, May 12, 8 AM

We went to the NICU yesterday late afternoon and there hanging off Chase's monitor was a Mother's Day card from the triplets. The card was made by a support group called "Parents of Preemies." My wife was pleasantly surprised because they had imprinted the front with all 3 triplets footprints. We miss Chelsea very much, and having a card from her as well as the others, really made our day...

Update...

Chase is beginning to progress. They have him feeding on 2.5 cc of mother's milk. They will increase the dosage by 1.5 cc starting this morning at 8 AM and will continue to do so at that rate until he reaches 16 cc. Sounds like a lot milk, but the nurses tell us that the faster he learns to eat on his own, the faster he'll grow. His lungs are also doing better. The nurses are eager to try him off the ventilator very soon.

Thank you God for Chase, whether ill or well, for you have given us joy in being his parents. We ask that you would continue the course of healing & growth that you have started. Place your Spirit within him and prepare him for years of service unto you.

Charissa is stable but at the wrong end of the spectrum. She continues to teeter between being maxed out on her bloodpressure meds (dopamine, dobutamine, & epinephrine) to just needing a bit less. There's no real risk with being on these meds. But we want her to come off asap so that she can feed and grow. If not she remains at risk for further complications, especially infection.

Thank you God for Charissa, whether ill or well, for you have given us joy in being her parents. We ask that you would heal our child so that she may serve you many days on this earth as your servant.

Lastly... thank you all for continuing to co-labor with my wife & me... ...God has taught all of us so much these past 2 weeks. Although daunting, we know that God will continue to show love & mercy. Special thanks to KFPC EM. All of you have learned to cry & shoulder the burden with your pastor & his wife. I am especially thankful to God for you. He indeed is teaching many of you the harshness of sin, and the glory of His grace.

shlm adny lkm..
Young & Yu Ran

My Bad Day... ...My Wife's Good Words.

Saturday, May 10 11PM

I had a reallybad day today. I got really frustrated when I saw Charissa go on the epinephrine for what seemed like the umpteenth time. I sulked, complained under my breath, and began to really question God in an unhealthy manner. When I called later in the evening, I rejoiced that she had weaned a little bit.... My heart felt like it received a bit of adrenaline. In other words, the condition of my heart depended on every bit of news, whether good or bad.

My wife said to me, "I think we need to repent. We're too happy with the good news and too sad with the bad."

She's right. We must rejoice in the character of God, not by our circumstances.

I rejoice greatly in the Lord that at last you have renewed your concern for me. Indeed, you have been concerned, but you had no opportunity to show it. I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength. Philippians 4:10-13

Lord, teach us how to be content in you, whatever the circumstances. We can indeed handle anything with the strength that you give to us. Amen

Another Lesson Learned,
Young & Yu Ran

Week 3

Saturday, May 10 9PM

My parents just arrived from Philly and we took them to see Chase & Chelsea. Here's their status.

Chase is doing well. They increased his milk dosage to 1.5 cc. But after the third meal, he wasn't able to digest. The doctors scanned his stomach and reported nothing unusual. They just think that his stomach is adjusting. They will stop the feedings for tonight, let him rest, and then resume them at the same dosage tomorrow morning at 8AM.

Charissa needs more prayer than older brother. Her bloodpressure still won't stabilize. We need her to get off her meds so that she can start eating and growing.

Please remember both of them in your prayers and please pray especially for Charissa's bloodpressure.

Exhausted In His Hands,
Young & Yu Ran

Following Our Lord In All Things

Charissa Jonghae Choi (5 days old) & Chase Jongmin Choi (10 days old)

(Please do not copy, download, or use any of these images)

May 9, 5:45 PM

As I reflect on Chelsea's life, I realize I have a lot to say. I hope to write a memoir to honor her service to the Lord. Her 12 days of life has touched so many people and have challenged so many people's faiths (Thanks to many of you for your notes of encouragment!). I can truly say that her life was not wasted, but that the Lord is using her for His glory...

...But I still cry a lot and I wonder why. So I often use this simple litmus test to examine my heart. "Would I rather have such and such, or Christ in my life?" In other words, "Would I rather have Chelsea alive with me: holding her, kissing her, feeding her, praying for her, singing to her, reading her God's word... ...or would I rather have Christ?"

At this stage of my grieving, I can honestly say I can't answer this question or I don't want to answer the question. I know the right answer is the latter, but my heart so much wants her with me. So we are in process... ...God is taking away the dross and will leave behind only pure faith in His Son. Pray especially for my wife, as she senses the pain much more deeply than I do.

Tears can be deceptive. Tears of rightful mourning is redemptive, bringing true healing & the ability to comfort others with the love of Christ. What does that look like? We should always cry over sin and the consequences of sin in this world. Through Chelsea, we should all learn that sin still has a pervasive hold on creation. Even Christ cried when Lazarus died, knowing full well that he would raise him from the dead. But Christ still cried, because the consequences of sin, that is death, should always lead us to tears. Why? Because that's not the way the world should be. All creation should work the way it was intended by bringing life and thus bringing God glory. But if we recognize Christ's healing power through our suffering, and more importantly through His suffering & consequent victory over sin, God will give us that peace beyond all understanding.

Tears for self-centered desires is destructive and leads to self-pity, self-centered guilt, and even death when the burden becomes too heavy. What does this look like? Remember the question? Would I rather have Chelsea or Christ? If I answer wholeheartedly Chelsea, then I will never receive healing, but will only pity myself & search for other ways to distract myself from the pain... Always examine your hearts when you are in suffering. Christ can heal you, but only if you acknowledge and worship Him.

Above all else guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life. -Proverbs 4:23

No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it. Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. Hebrews 12:11-13

Lord, teach us to be ever faithful in our pain and to know that the passing of our daughter Chelsea has great significance and meaning in your plan of redemption. Continue to use her through the many lives she has challenged to serve and strengthen those who are weak and suffering. Do this so that all peoples can see that you alone bring meaning out of death. Do this so that the name of your Son, Jesus may be magnified. And be with me and my wife. Even though we love & miss our child, help us not to waste her life in self-pity, but may we glorify you and thank you for the time she was with us. And although this time is far from pleasant, help us not to sin against you, by desiring anything less or more than your son Jesus. We wait eagerly for the harvest of righteousness and peace. We pray to the God of comfort & hope... Amen.

Updates...

Both Chase & Charissa are two weeks old! We are thankful to our God. But we remind ourselves, if this was a marathon, then we're only at about the 5 mile mark. I can honestly say that it feels like we are running a marathon--without any training! It's too hard on our bodies and minds, but we have no choice... ...this is the race that the Lord chose for us.

Chase is doing well. He's been off his bloodpressure meds for 2 whole days! The doctor is confident that he has finally stabilized. Yeah! He has fed for the last 24 hours, 1 cc of mom's milk every 3 hours. They will increase his milk intake to 1.5 cc at 8PM tonight and gradually increase the intake as long as his little stomach can take it. Yeah again! One point of concern is the head ultrasound. He has a grade 2 intraventricular hemorrhage (IVH). It hasn't improved from last time. But the doctor says that these hemorrhages usually stop growing between 7-10 days after birth. So he doesn't see it getting worse. Grade 2 is mild enough that we would probably see no to minimun long term effects. They also tried to extubate him again. He still won't breathe on his own.

Pray that the Lord would continue to help Chase to eat well. Pray that his IVH would heal and drain quickly. Pray that he would breathe on his own soon...

Charissa still has bloodpressure issues. She's on 20mgm of dopamine and dobutamine, and 1.5 mgm of epinephrine (5mgm max for epinephrine). She's also getting hydrocortisone. The good news is that her bloodpressure seems to be stabilizing and the doctor is going to try to wean her off the bloodpressure meds again over the next 48 hours. Her head ultrasound was good. She barely has Grade 1 IVH. They had to look really hard to find it...

Pray that the Lord would stabilize her bloodpressure so that she would be able to eat! Pray that she would be able to breathe on her own soon...

Again, please feel free to post your words of encouragment. We truly covet them!

Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.
-Proverbs 16:24

Under His Redemptive Discipline through our dear Chelsea,
Young, Yu Ran, Chase, Charissa

Chelsea In ALL Our Hearts...

Chelsea Jonghee Choi (2 days old)

(please do not copy, download, or use this image)

May 9, 8:00 Am

On Wednesday afternoon, we went to the hospital to see our three children. Chase & Charissa's condition hadn't change, and sadly enough, neither did Chelsea's. Dr. Troyer tracked us down with the bad news. Chelsea had only a 20% chance of survival and a 100% certainty that she would have severe mental disabilities; she would not be able to talk, have no motor skills, limited, if any sight or hearing, and would not be able to feed herself. Dr. Troyer suggested that we give her hospice care and let pass away. Yu Ran & I were completely devastated. We had another family worship time with Chelsea. We sang her favorite songs, 'God is so Good' and 'Great is Thy Faithfulness,' I preached from her favorite passage, Psalm 139, and then we all prayed. We decided to go to Yu Ran's parent's Prayer Center (Gidowon) and pray through the night one last time. We went home first to pack our belongings, then stopped by to see Chelsea one more time...

On our way to the hospital, Chelsea had an 'episode.' Dr. Troyer called us and asked us if we wanted to revive her. We said, "yes," and sped our way to Chelsea's side. Her blood pressure was far below normal and Dr. Troyer told us that her chances of survival were 15% or less. My wife called her dad to come down quickly and my wife and I had agreed without speaking a word, to let her go...

We had another family worship. We sang her favorite songs about 4 times over. I preached to her from Psalm 139 and Philippians 4:13, then I baptized my own child. When Yu Ran's father came (an old-style revivalist preacher) he suggested that we keep God's promise to God and simply go to the Prayer Center and make the decision in the morning. Yu Ran was scared that Chelsea might pass away in the night without her and didn't want to leave the bedside. After much discussion, we decided to stay in the hospital and pray all night in a private room reserved for parents in our situation.

In our haste to get to Chelsea, I had left the car in the atrium circle. I went to park the car and get some belongings to make our stay a little more comfortable. As soon as I parked the car, Yu Ran called me. Chelsea had another episode and was crashing... ...I ran as fast as I could to be with Chelsea and my family. I can never forget the sight. Our doctor with about 6-8 nurses trying to revive our little child.

God had given us the answer. He had called Chelsea home. They sat my wife down in a rocking chair, and put Chelsea in her arms. We sang to her, read Scripture and prayed. During Chelsea's treatment, they had covered her eyes to protect them. This time they had uncovered them and we were able to see her beautiful face... ...As Yu Ran sang "God is so Good," she opened her eyes and tracked mommy's voice. Then when I knelt down beside her and sang "Great is thy faithfulness," she tracked daddy's voice. What a wonderful last gift from God & Chelsea. We didn't cry at all during these last moments. God had known how difficult this would be and we simple enjoyed holding our child for the last hour of her life... ...she passed away in mommy's arms around 8:30PM Wedesday night, only 12 days old.

The next day, we took Chelsea to a private burial site. With Chelsea's body, Yu Ran & I conducted our final family worship with Chelsea. Same scripture, same songs, same prayers, this time with many tears... Afterward we had a funeral service with immediate family & then buried her.

We buried her around 12PM on Thursday. Both of us are still reeling from this experience. We still can not believe that she is gone. When we went to the hospital to visit Chase & Charissa, they referred them as the Kim twins--no longer the Kim triplets. Instead of visiting three different pod sites (rooms where NICU babies are kept), we only visited Pod B and Pod D. Pod F was no longer a destination for us...

...we are in mourning and we are exhausted. Although having guests would be uplifting we have no time. Our days and nights consist of Yu Ran pumping (lactating) every 3 -4 hours 24/7, and us making visits to the hospital. In between, we pray, cry, try to eat, and I attempt to take care of the ministries that the Lord has given to me... ...we have not had one good night sleep since the birth of our children. ...Please understand when we are unable to reply. We don't have the time or the energy.

But we appreciate your voice mails, postings, facebook encouragments. Please don't stop these. My wife and I so much enjoy reading them. Your prayers and encouragements are our source of strength.

God's ways are mysterious and we praise Him... ...Goodbye Chelsea, thank you for being such a beautiful and wonderful daughter. Daddy & Mommy love you and we miss you very much...

In Tears,
Young & Yu Ran

Chelsea

May 7, 3:22 PM

Chelsea's bloodpressure is not stabilizing. The doctor said that she may not make it through the night. My wife and I are going to her parents house to pray through the night. Jehovah Jireh, we ask you to provide...

Young, Yu Ran, Chase, Charissa, & Chelsea

We March On

May 7, 9:15 AM

Chase is doing well so far. The doctors tried to extubate (take him off the ventilator) him, but he just didn't respond well. They will try again next week. He's been off all the blood pressure medicine for 24 hours and they'll begin what they call "trophic feeding," 3 cc of mom's milk will be given every 3 hours. Let's pray & hope that his tiny little tummy can process it.

Charissa is still up & down on her blood pressure. Nothing new here. Seems that the hydrocortisone helped a little but not as miraculously as it did with Chase. One bit of good news, they lowered the pressure on the ventilator, which means that her lungs are getting stronger.

Both Chase & Charissa will get another head ultrasound tomorrow.

Chelsea is not doing well and all our tears have been spent on her. We don't know how much more we can cry and pray to our Lord, so we ask you to pray & cry for us; please be our strength. Yu Ran's parents, my sister, and brother-in-law have been an enormous help to us these past few days, and we thank God for wonderful family. The most difficult part is to see her lying on her back all swollen, now up to 2 1/2 times her normal size & to see her right toes all black. She was doing the best out of all three of them. She was off the blood pressure medicine first, she was about to come off the ventilator, she had already her first trophic feeding. But then an infection ravaged her body & in the course of a few days, she's.... Lord have mercy on her.... But our faith does not waver, if you are willing Lord, please heal her....

Firmly in His Hands,
Young, Yu Ran, Chase, Charissa, & Chelsea

Difficult News...

May 6, 5:00PM

Chelsea's doctor called. Dr. Troyer explained to us that Chelsea has about a 20% chance of survival. But even if she did survive, there would be extreme organ damage, including the brain. If God were to perform a miracle, it would have to be now...

soli deo gloria,
Young & Yu Ran

Our Sovereign God

May 6, 3:00 PM

Dear Lord, we praise and worship you for you are sovereign, holy, just, and good. And although we often do not understand all your ways, we know that you do what is best for your name and your people. We thank you for the gift of children and we remember once again, that they are not ours, but yours. We hold Chase, Charissa, & Chelsea lightly in our hands and ask only for the simple privilege of being their guardians on your behalf. Allow us to raise these precious ones that they may glorify your name to the ends of the earth. We know & understand that you alone are God and we submit ourselves to your good and perfect will. -Young & Yu Ran


Chase is doing well. After a round of hydrocortisone to help restrict the blood vessels, his blood pressure has stabilized and he is completely off the blood-pressure medicine. After 24 hours off the medication, the doctors will decide whether or not he can feed on Mommy's milk. Another Chase episode today. He removed his ventilator, thinking that he could breathe on his own. But alas, the nursed had to rescue him once again. One step at a time Chase...

Thank You God for Chase's progress... ...his love endures forever.

Charissa is doing okay. She is still on both dopamine (20 mcg) and dobutamine (14 mcg). Her blood pressure keeps going up and down and the doctors are still a bit baffled. They are giving Charissa a continuous line of hydrocortisone and they are hoping that this will resolve the blood pressure issue for her as it did for Chase.

Lord, may the hydrocortisone be your means to Charissa's health... ...his love endures forever

Chelsea is still in very critical condition. She's still maxed out on all her drugs and her blood pressure is barely viable, but she is fighting! All the human means by which God may heal her have been used up. Only God's grace can save her from her infection & low blood pressure.

Lord, may Chelsea, whom you have rescued from death twice, be rescued once more... ...his love endures forever

Yu Ran & I are being completely re-worked by the Lord. Already, I sense the master reworking our hearts to be more in line with His. He has taught us suffering, compassion, love and most importantly sacrifice. We marvel even more at how God was able to send his only son to die, while we were still sinners (Rom 5:8). Amazing. God indeed is good...

Being reworked in his loving hands,
Young & Yu Ran

We love you Chelsea

May 6, 7:30 AM

Chelsea went into septic shock. She's maxed out on every drug possible but her bloodpressure barely registers as viable. The infection has taken its toll on her. The fluids she is given literally bleeds out from her capillaries into her body. She is swollen to about 1.5 times her size. Doctors say there is nothing else they can do. Chelsea has to fight the infection and restore her own bloodpressure. In other words, we are waiting for God to have mercy on Chelsea a second time. Please pray with us.

Yu Ran, her parents, and my sister spent the night at the hospital watching her crash and then barely get resuscitated. We didn't leave her bedside until now. We are planning to get a couple hours of rest and then return.

God indeed is good and sovereign. We love both him and the precious little child he has given us.

Stretched In His Arms,
Young & Yu Ran

Grade 9 Infection

May 5, 2008 5:00 Pm

First, thank you for all your prayers. I know that the day to day information may be too much for some of you. Please don't feel obliged to read everything I blog. If it's too trying for you, simple pray in general for the health of our children and the spiritual strength of their parents. This blog will have its ups & downs and I thank those of you who are willing to ride this difficult journey... ...may the Lord bless you as you cry and rejoice with us.

Here's the update...

Chase. They have put him on hydrocortisone which will help with his bloodpressure. If all goes well, they will wean him off the dopamine (10mcg) in the next few days. Ultrasound on the brain revealed one small hemmorage on each hemisphere. Doctors say that it's a non issue.

Charissa. She's still having problems with her blood pressure: 20mcg of dopamine and 12 mcg of dobutamine. Doctors still aren't sure why her blood pressure is so low. They're worried, which makes us worry. Ultrasound on the brain revealed two small hemmorages on one side of her brain. Doctors say that it's a non issue.

Chelsea. Severe infection. On a scale of 1 -10, with 10 being the worst, she is a 9. Dr. Troyer says that she has high "gas" levels in her blood, and that she is technically in "shock." They started her on 3 antibiotics and are confident that they can eradicate the infection. But, they worry that the resultant shock may be too much for her system. Chelsea is undergoing numerous tests and procedures that are quite taxing on her body. Her right foot responded badly to an IV they placed in her artery to monitor her bloodpressure. There's no other place they can place the IV since both her arms and her other leg already have lines placed in. Her right toes are all purple right now and there is a chance that she could lose her toes. As for her brain ultrasound, she has a small hemmorage (grade 2) but Dr. Troyer isn't worried.

Please continue to pray through this blog for our three children. Here's a brief summary of the most important issues.
1. bloodpressure resolves for each of the three
2. respiratory system. each will come off the ventilator.
3. Chelsea. The next 24 HOURS are critical!!! Please pray vigiantly that her infection will be
resolved and that her circulartory system would not be compromised.

Yu Ran & I will be returning to the NICU tonight to be with Chelsea. We trust in the Lord, but we are both exhausted... ...pray for strength for us to love & pray for the three best gifts that we have ever received...

In tears,
Young & Yu Ran

Cliff Hanging...

May 5, 2008

Hello Brothers & Sisters,

How are we doing? We feel as if we're watching our kids rock climb up a steep precipice some 2000 feet high without any safety net. We know that the entire climb will take about 16 weeks. We're on pins and needles knowing that any one miss-grab could cost them their lives.... Every moment we hear a bit of good news, it's tempered by the fact that they still have a long way to go, but we're joyful, because at least they are progressing. On the other hand, every bit of bad news is magnified, knowing that one small mistep could cost us our children... ...Today, we had bad news. Our God is good, but the news is still difficult...

1. Chase: His blood pressure has yet to stabilize. They have increased his bloodpressure medication (dopamine). They may have to use hydrocortisone. The neonatologist will consult with us on the possible side effects.

2. Charissa: Her blood pressure has plummeted. She is on all three medications. 20 mgms of dopamine, 20 mgms of dobutamine, and she's on epinephrine. The doctors are truly concerned and can't find the reason why her bloodpressure is so slow.

3. Chelsea: She has an infection. They started her on antibiotics. Doctors are very, very concerned. An infection in a preemie is extremely life threatening.


Please pray for His mercy. Yu Ran & I are truly being stretched every single moment. I wish I could say it's day to day, but I would be glossing over the difficulty of our situation. We literally wrestle hour to hour. When people ask how our children are doing, we have a hard time responding. What can we say, when the journey is so long and difficult? What can we say, when we see our children have a bad day, or even a bad afternoon or hour--knowing that this could be their last. We love our children and we thank Gd that he has used them already to challenge and strengthen the faith of many of you. But we ask Him to have longer term plans for them. Please pry for the same.

In His Love,
Young & Yu Ran

Chase, Charissa, & Chelsea

May 1, 2008

First, thank you so much for your prayers & concerns. I would like to update all of you on the condition of our three beautiful children.

The Choi Triplets were born on Friday, April 25 @24 weeks gestation (i.e. 3 months early).

1. Chase Jongmin Choi born: 9:12 PM, 13 inches length, 1 lb. 11 oz.
2. Charissa Jonghae Choi born: 9:13 PM, 12.5 inches length, 1 lb. 8 oz.
3. Chelsea Jonghee Choi born: 9:13 PM, 12 inches length, 1 lb. 4 oz.

At 24 weeks gestation, the doctors tell us that each one has a 50% chance of survival. Each one also has about a 70% chance of having physical and/or mental disabilities. Although these numbers are daunting, we are thankful to God for our children. They are already precious in our sights and we know that the Lord has His own sovereign purpose for all three of them. We will not know whether they will survive until around 30 - 32 weeks gestation (July 1 - July 15) or even later. Doctors are very reluctant at giving any definitive dates. They warned us that it will be a LONG and TUMULTUOUS rollercoaster ride; the babies will most certainly have their share of good and bad days. The emotional anxiety of thinking that your baby will survive one day and the next day thinking that the Lord will take one home has already been extremely draining.

Please pray generally for:
1. God's mercy on the survival and health of all three of our children.
2. God's strength to trust him everyday. Although Yu Ran and I know of God's grace & sovereignty, we are truly being stretched. Pray that the Lord will give us
peace.

Our kids are now 6 days old!!! I want to share with you some specific prayer requests, but before I do let me explain some things. If the medical jargon gets to you, just skip ahead and pray! : )

During the first days of our children's lives, the neonatologists are concerned about 3 things: Circulatory System, Respitory System, Bleeding in the Brain
1. Bloodpressure: Preemies are born with low blood pressure. They are given three different medicines to help stabilize them: dopamine, dobutamine, and epinephrine. First, they will give them dopamine. If the maximum dosage of 20micrograms does not stabilize the child, they proceed to dobutamine. Again, if the 20mgms of dopamine and 20mgms of dobutamine fail to stabilize him/her they move on to the epinephrine. Maximum dosage of epinephrine is also 20mgms. After they have maxed out on all three, then there is no other medicine they can give the child. Therefore, if Chase is on 12mgms of dopamine, that's pretty good, but if Chelsea is on 20mgs of dopamine, 20 mgs of dobutamine, and 12 mgms of epinephrine, then that's not so good. Needless to say, this is the first thing we check everytime we visit them.

2. PDA (Patent Ductus Arteriosus). http://www.cincinnatichildrens.org/health/heart-encyclopedia/anomalies/pda.htm Follow this link for a full explanation. Basically, this duct is almost always open in preemies. In order to close it the neonatologists prescribes a 'packet of medicine' in 3 doses, usually indomethacin. If it still doesn't close, the neonatologist usually orders another 'packet' some days later, and perhaps even surgery.

3. Respitory System. Preemies are always on ventilators to help them to breathe. At this age, the lungs don't "remember" to "breathe." The ventilator breathes for them. Another issue is the amount of oxygen they need. Room air is 21% oxygen. The goal is therefore twofold. 1. Wean them down to 21% room air. 2. Get them off the ventilator and onto a nasal CPAP (Continuous Positive Airway Pressure). CPAP provides oxygenated air and keeps the lungs open, but does not breathe for the preemie.

4. Brain Bleeding. After a week, the neonatolist usually does a sonogram on the brain to make sure there is no bleeding. If there is, then there could be future mental disabilities depending upon its severity.

So how are our kids doing....
Chase Jongmin Choi. Chase is doing considerably well. He was diagnosed with PDA and was immediatley given a packet of indomethacin. 24 hours later, the neonatologist confirmed that the duct was closed. Yeah!! His blood pressure has been stabilizing and he needs 14mgms of dopamine. However, the neonatologist is befuddled as to why he isn't completely off the medicine as of yet. He has no medical explanation except for the fact that Chase is a preemie. Chase's respitory system is doing well for now. He is only on 21 - 25 % oxygen depending on the day, but the nurses tell us that he usually breathes room air! They have tried to take him off the ventilator at least once, but the lungs still won't breathe for themselves. We need them to start working in the next couple of days.

Charissa Jonghae Choi. Charissa was doing really bad in the very beginning. She was maxed out on dopamine and dobutamine and the doctors were about to put her on the epinephrine. She was diagnosed with PDA and the duct was very large. They immediately put her on a round of indomethacin (the same time as Chase). Whereas Chase's duct closed completely, Charissa still had a small opening. But today they did another echocaridogram and found that the duct was completely closed. Yeah! Her blood pressure stabilized and she is completely off the medicine. Another yeah! She is in the same boat as Chase as regards the ventilator and oxygen levels. She too needs to get on the CPAP in next day or two. Another bit of good news is that Charissa may also begin to be feed tonight, about 1 cc of mom's milk.

Chelsea Jonghee Choi. Chelsea is the smallest of the three and the one we are concerned about the most. She was born without a heartbeat and the nurses needed to perform CPR. In the NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit), she looked so fragile and small. At the outset she was put on 20mgms of dopamine and on and off the dobutamine. Her respiration was like that of her brother & sister (my wife was given two steroid shots on the Monday & Tuesday prior to the delivery. This helped the children's lungs to develop faster), but she was given a dose of surfactant to help her along. However, yesterday (April 30), we received an urgent call in the morning. Chelsea's blood pressure had crashed... ...she was maxed out on all three drugs and the doctors were at a loss. They didn't have an explanation as to why, but later on in the afternoon, the condition resolved itself. She is now only on Dopamine and is being slowly weaned off. Needless to say, yesterday was one of those down moments for us. Chelsea was also diagnosed with a small PDA, but the duct closed by itself.

So what is our specific prayer requests for our three kids... ...well Friday & Saturday are big days for all three. Please pray:
1. Sonogram of the brain. All three are scheduled for tomorrow (Friday, May 2). Pray that there is no bleeding in any of them...
2. PDA. Even though all three ducts are closed, they could still reopen. Pray that they would be kept closed...
3. Respiration. All three need to be off the ventilators soon and switched to the CPAP. Pray that this would happen tomorrow...
4. Blood Pressure. Pray that Chase & Chelsea may get off the blood pressure medicine and be stabilized enough to eat!
5. Yu Ran. She is healing quite well from the emergency c-section. Pray for her emotional stability that she may be able to lactate for our soon to be hungry little ones.


These are literally just small steps, but as you can see, we are exhausted. But we know our God "never slumbers or sleeps" and we trust in Him. Please forgive us for not being able to respond to each of your e-mails individually. We appreciate your partnership with us in praying for our children. Your PRAYERS have been the means by which God has held our family up. Thank You.

In His Grip,
Young & Yu Ran.